The last breath of war: the testimonies and fears of Palestinians in Gaza

A testimony published by the Israeli newspaper Haaretz on its web pages. Between the fear of dying in the last minute and the desire to find their loved ones, Palestinians experience the agony of the moments before and after the ceasefire with Israel.

Gaza lies in the silence of a war that is slowly coming to an end. The hours leading up to the ceasefire, set for Sunday, are for many the most terrible moments. The fear of dying in the last minute, when the end of the conflict already seems in the air, hovers like a constant threat.

Ahmad Bassiouni, a young Palestinian from Gaza City, described the agony of those moments in a social media post. ‘No one really understands the weight of the last moments before the end of a war,’ he wrote. ‘The gazawi asks himself: will I survive? The last hour is confusing and terrifying, more so than all the days of killing combined.’ Ahmad shared the common thought hovering in the Gaza air: ‘Who will die by rocket, bullet or explosion an hour before? One minute earlier? Which mother will scream? Which child will die?’ A collective question that crosses all minds, as the clock marks the inescapable arrival of the truce.

For many, the wait is not only one of fear, but also of a desperate need for answers. Palestinians, just days after the announcement of a ceasefire agreement, are aware that the beginning of the truce will not mark the end of the suffering. Rajaa Akram, a mother who lost her husband and two sons in the war, wrote on Facebook of her desire to find the bodies of her loved ones. ‘As soon as they announce a truce, I want to run to the place where I spent my last days with my husband and children. I will look for them, I will look for anything that carries their scent. I will look for their pure bodies, say goodbye to them and bury them with my own hands, even if I have to pick them up bone by bone.’

Rajaa’s words reflect an excruciating grief, the desire of a mother who wants to give her loved ones a dignified burial, an act that not only represents mourning, but also the closing of a chapter of violence and pain. Uncertainty about how the situation in Gaza will evolve remains high. While the cease-fire agreement between Israel and Hamas, brokered by Qatar, Egypt and the United States, represents hope, the shadow of war remains very much in the minds of Palestinians, who are aware that real peace is still a long way off.

With the end of the conflict, however, another painful process arises: the search for bodies, the need to find loved ones in order to be able to say goodbye, bury them and give them peace. The hope that the hour of truce will bring relief is mixed with the knowledge that mourning, suffering and devastation will continue to mark the daily lives of those left behind.

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(Photo: © Haaretz)